I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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