but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
