You smell like stripper and shame
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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