he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
