I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
