The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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