hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize