I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
