idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
