i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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