I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
