And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
