Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
