I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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