Don't you send me to vm
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
