He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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