i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
