oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
