Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
