i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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