Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize