If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
