he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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