The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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