She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
