how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize