Farmville is her only friend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
