Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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