call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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