they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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