I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
