If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
