..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this just has baby written all over it
bring money and cleavage
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
