THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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