Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
