Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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