you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
