I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
