he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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