You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
