I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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