My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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