woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
