and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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