just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize