i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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