i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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