That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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