he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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