was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
