you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize