so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
