Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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