I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
