Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
