He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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