I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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