so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
