we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
