Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize