There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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