I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
