we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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